Lost pride and growing spirit: Crystal to Flower
by Shadimee
Summary: Forced to live as a dancing performer, Hanna is used to a life of distrust and solitude. Dreaming of the sea beyond her island, Hanna makes a brave but dangerous choice, leaving behind all she knows to set sail into the unknown. But escaping aboard the ship of the infamous Strawhat pirates is no guarantee that the shadows of her old life will remain hidden forever.
1. The Escape

**Chapter 1.**

When the sun sets I am going to leave my island forever. No plan, no money and no idea what is waiting for me over the horizon. I am going to leave the life I have known for the open seas. The last of the small amount of possessions I do own are already packed onto the sailing boat I've hidden in the cove of the island. All that remains now is that I perform my duties one last time.

There is a knock on my door. It echoes through the room as I hook the final piece of jewellery, a heavy gold necklace, in place. I turn to the mirror, a tall broken piece of glass riddled with web-like lines and coated in a thin line of dust. Despite my surroundings, a dark mold filled room, I look surprisingly elegant. The numerous gold bangles and chains clamber loudly with each of my movements, and my short bright dress, which would look scandalous in any other situation, is exotic and seductive. I look exotic and seductive. As I should.

The knock on the door is louder this time and an angry voice bellows from the other side. "Crystal, hurry up in there! Do you think I have all day?"

Although my name, _my real name_, is not Crystal I answer anyway. As I always do.

"Yes Master, right away."

I take one last glance at the mirror. If I take just one of the precious jewels I am wearing, I won't have to worry about money for a long while after I depart the island...

But it is a useless thought to entertain.

I open the door with some difficulty. Master—no Alistair, always forgets to take the chains off the door after he had unlocked them.

"You're on in five minutes Crystal, go join the girls."

It is always painful to enter the main room. The heady scent of perfume always hangs in thick clouds at the entrance where the other girls stand in clusters, often discussing last minute changes to the dance routines. The lights also give off a blinding shimmer that mimics the spotlights on the stage but contrasts the dim blinking lights that we are supplied with in our rooms. I make my way through the crowd of girls to find a space in the corner. They move systematically when I come through. No one touches me and they all avoid eye contact. None want to be the reason why the main star is unable to perform.

The entire room is silent by the time I reach my corner of the room. It's nothing out of the ordinary. Supposedly, I am the master's favorite. I get the best pick of the clothes and I get to perform alone, without the stress of making sure my entire group is performing perfectly in sync like they have to. Although they don't say it aloud, they think I am an informer, secretly telling the master about their escape plans or reporting them when they are slacking on their training.

They are, of course, wrong.

But I don't correct them. I have no reason to. If they knew what I had planned they would sell me out as quickly as they thought I would sell them out. In this world I can only count on and trust myself. Today, I can sit with my head high and stare at every single glittering face without embarrassment. It will be the last time after all.

"Crystal, you're up."

The last time.

I walk towards the stage and my legs tremble beneath me. Not from fear—I've done this a thousand times before— but from anticipation.

Anticipation of what I am about to do.

The spotlight dims and the crowd grows quiet. I step onto the stage, letting my body follow the routine that has been beaten into it. I dance to the increasing rhythm of the music, swaying back and forth with increasing fervor until all I can hear is the beating of my heart and the roar of the crowd.

Then there is a scream and the lights cut off. A large, scar faced man rises from his seat and fires a gun in the air to call for order. He looks at me dead in the eye before throwing a single bejeweled knife in my direction. It embeds itself in the wall inches away from my face, but I don't flinch. Instead, I grab the knife and point it in the direction of main hall.

"The gold is in the chambers past the main room." I say, trying to suppress all the emotions that are threatening to pin me to the ground.

Master—Alistair is glaring at me with a look of utter shock and uncontrolled rage. There is a Denden Mushi in his hand, no doubt summoning the guards he had hired to protect his business. The scarred man whistles loudly and dozens of men come scurrying from all directions. Some wielding bloodied knives, others smirking in a way that suggests that they like to torture their victims in other ways.

The people in the audience are fleeing by now, but the pirates show no interest. As I had hoped, they are only interested in the gold. One grabs me by the collar, twisting the gold necklace that hangs on my neck and nearly pulls me off my feet.

"We're here. So where's the rest of it?" He spits.

I try to pull free but he is stronger than me. "I told you, go through the main hall and start from the room furthest down. It's Master's room, that's where he keeps most of it."

"Master eh." He says, tugging at my necklace. "That guy sure has you well trained. Maybe we should take you with us. I'd like to be your master."

With one swipe I unclasp the necklace and free myself from his wretched grip. I look back in the direction of the main hall but Alistair and the scarred pirate captain have disappeared.

"You have to hurry." I urge the pirate. "Alistair has a few devil fruit users employed who guard the gold. If you waste your time here your captain might be in trouble!"

The pirate scowls and slaps me across the face. Hard.

"I don't need you to tell me what to do." He scolds.

I pick myself off the floor and head in the direction of the exit. I half expect the pirate to follow me, but my face must be so pathetically swollen that any traces of my beauty has disappeared, along with any interest he may have had in me. I throw away the remaining jewellery around my wrists and ankles and run as fast as I can towards the cove. Shamelessly, I am leaving behind the girls whose frighten faces swelled at the sight of the invading pirates and Alistair, the man who had made my life a worthless existence for the last five years.

I run as fast as my legs allow. I run until the sea comes into view and my dreams of an everlasting freedom is almost a reality.

Almost.

Before I can reach the cove, an overpowering sensation runs through my body; a dreadful anticipation. I slow down and approach the cove cautiously, going through the bushes rather than using the path. Up ahead I catch sight of a movement. A broad man with a pick axe is hacking away mightily at a ship.

My ship.

My breath catches, and I stare motionlessly. My bags, which I had packed with the few decent clothing I could find in the hall, are floating into the open sea. Tears stream down my face. Alistair had sent one of his guards to find my ship. Perhaps he had known all along of my plan and this was his twisted attempt at humoring me, to show me the futility of trying to escape.

But, I can't let him win. I can't let him win. I can't let him win.

I stand on shaking legs and run along the border of the island. I don't know where I'm running to but I know where I'm running from, and it makes me go faster and faster until I can no longer feel the ground beneath me. The wind sweeps through me, blowing my black hair like curtains over my eyes until I've run over the edge of the cliff into the cold waters below.


	2. The Liberation

**Chapter 2.**

The pull of the waves is both frightening and comforting. For a second I consider letting it take me away to a place where I wouldn't have to struggle anymore. But I fear death and the emptiness that comes with it.

I kick at the water with the same desperation as before. The sunlight , blurred by the fragmenting sea's waves, is my guide to the land above. The current pulls me down, but I am steadfast. I try to swim with the current rather than against it, hoping that it will guide me to some place new far, far away from the sorrows of this island...

x.x.x

I don't know how long I have been in the sea, but the feel of wet sand and hard gravel brings me back into reality. The water had taken me and guided me to open shores. I don't know how long I've been lying on the shoreline, but my hands and feet are bloodied and wrinkled. Still dazed, I try to recognize my surroundings.

With a heavy heart I realize I am still on the island. The blue leafed palm trees that outline the surrounding area are the native fauna of Blues Island.

I take a gasped breath and lie back down on the ground. My body and my spirit are as shattered as the incessant waves that break among the rocks. I pray inwardly, hoping that the elements can finish me off before Alistair can find me here helpless, broken and pathetic. Just like I always am; just like he always expects me to be.

I hear voices coming closer and I give into the despair. Each step brings forward a sentence that I will have to carry out for the rest of my days. They reach me and I close my eyes, letting the darkness and the hopelessness take me somewhere I fear to go.

Someone looms over me but I am reluctant to open my eyes and see who it is.

"Over here! She's over here!" I hear a voice say. It's a woman's voice. A cold hand touches my arm, chest and face. "I think she's still alive, where's Chopper?"

Another voice speaks, this time with a much deeper tone. "He is on his way. How did this happen to such a beautiful girl?"

"I don't know. I just saw her run off the cliff. Anyway, just tell Chopper to hurry up."

A pair of strong arms pick me up. My heart beats uneven rhythms in my chest. These arms are not like the ones that pull me violently out of bed in the mornings or draw back to deliver a painful lashing for one of my many mistakes. These arms hold me with a tenderness that I have long forgotten…and I fear to open my eyes to reality.

Several voices appear through the darkness. I try to imagine what kind of people they are. A woman with a strong, authoritative voice who seems sure and capable. A young man, whose harsh odor of smoke and spices is a sharp contrast to his gentle touch. A child whose voice has yet to break but has hands as hard and calloused as a man who has lived many years. The last a nasally, panicked voice that grows louder with each second.

From my hearing, I estimate that I am surrounded by four people and from my hearing I know that these people are not with Alistair. They discuss the best way to deal with me. To take me back to their ship or to leave me where I am and hope that I wake up soon.

The marines are after them.

The argument goes back and forth. The man in whose arms I lay is adamant that I board their ship and argues that they could take me back to the island later if I desire. The woman, however, makes what would be a sound argument if not for my circumstances; to leave me on the island so that the marines don't associate me with pirates.

From their words I gather that the marines have appeared to the town center in large numbers.

I wonder briefly if it has something to do with the pirates who I had collaborated with to invade the hall while I escaped. While I don't personally like the marines, I am relieved at the thought that maybe those girls I had abandoned would be helped by them. They did not like me nor did I particularly like them, but I sincerely hoped they would survive...

In the end the decision to take me back to the ship is made by the arrival of another voice. The speaker is young and energetic, but it is clear that he is in the position of power. The latent arguments die down and I am hoisted into the air and carried to a place I never thought I'd want to go: a pirate ship.

x.x.x

The bed I am placed in is soft. It is unlike the thin and hard mattresses I am used to. It almost makes want to actually sleep rather than just pretend to. But my stomach is rumbling and the aroma of the food that was left in the room, what I guess was several hours ago, becomes irresistible to me.

I risk opening my eyes and see a white room awash with evening light. From the window I can only see a far blue stretch of water until the horizon. The beauty of it overcomes me and I lose my footing. There is a quick knock on the door and someone comes in hurriedly.

"I heard something, is everything…ok?" A tall young man with bright blonde hair enters the room and when his eyes meet mine his voice dies away awkwardly. We stare at each other wordlessly. I can't tell what he is thinking, but many thoughts run through my head.

He is the man that carried me to this ship. He does not have a cruel face, nor does he seem threatening in any way, but was it a good idea for me to encounter them so soon? With no plan and no backup idea.

I mentally berate myself. I had been on this ship for hours already, but I had been so fearful that they would discover that I was secretly awake and not injured enough to warrant their attention that I did not think of an action plan when I would inevitably have to come face to face with them.

I recoil towards the wall, as if increasing the physical space between us could decrease the mental space that was growing in my mind. The man seems surprised by my actions and bends down where he is standing, so that he and I facing eye to eye.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He says in a soft voice. "My name is Sanji. I brought you here to help you because you were hurt."

I nod in a dumb way, feigning ignorance in hopes of evoking his pity. "I fell into the water… It was…cold."

Sanji chuckles slightly under his breath as if I had said the most obvious thing in the world and offers me his hand.

"I've got some warm soup in the kitchen, if you like." He says. "The one I brought you has gone a bit cold. I think I'll give it to Luffy."

"Luffy?" I say dumbly. From what I could gather, hearing titbits of the conversations between the crew mates, Luffy was the captain of this ship. But I couldn't let this man know I knew that.

"Yeah, Luffy is the captain of this ship." He replies, and hesitates to add the next bit. "Erm…well…this is a pirate ship."

Sanji smiles sheepishly but his eyes are observant, he is gauging my reaction. I measure each facial expression I make. If I seem too fearful they are likely to send me back to the island, but if I seem too accepting then that warrants suspicion. I decide to feign a look of slight fear and misunderstanding, the look of a child who is approached by a seemingly helpful stranger when they have lost sight of their parents. _Can I trust you or not?_

He seems satisfied by my response because he goes on to assure me of my safety on this ship and his vow of everlasting protection as we make our way to the kitchen and the rest of his crew.


	3. The Joining

**Chapter 3.**

Before we enter the kitchen I feel suddenly hesitant to go inside. I notice a sparkle in my reflection in the window and remember the inappropriately short and bright blue sequined dress I am wearing. I start to panic. Not because I am ashamed of what they might think, but because the dress reminds me of what I am trying to escape. Its lining clings to my body like a second skin; the skin of the girl named Crystal, who performs and dances at her master's command. Not Hanna the girl who, in a moment of brave madness, orchestrated her own escape into the world.

I am woefully aware of my strange behavior but I can't stop the sudden shaking that befalls me. The gust of salt air in my throat, the texture of cold and damp silk on my skin, the rocking of the waves beneath my feet. These are all strange sensations to me.

"Are you OK, miss?" Sanji says worriedly. He tries to hold one of my hands but stops immediately when I flinch away. "Maybe you should get some more rest. I'll bring something up for you later."

I shake my head and attempt a smile. "No, I'm sorry. I don't want to bother you more than I already have."

The truth is that I really _don't_ want to bother them more than I already have. I'm sure that these pirates have enough to worry about with the marines and other things, without having to think about consoling a burden like me.

Sanji smiles at me compassionately, almost as if he could read my mind. "You're no bother. I am always happy to serve a lady in need."

Together we enter the kitchen and one by one I see the strange assortment of people who make up the crew of the Strawhat pirates. A boy with stretching hands and the scowling green haired man he is stealing food from. A long nosed boy and a talking raccoon. An animate robot and a singing skeleton. Then two relatively normal looking girls, one older and mature looking, the other around the same age as myself, with fiery orange hair and a temper to match.

They don't notice me at first; they seem more concerned about their disappearing dinner at the hands of the stretching boy, but Sanji coughs loudly and draws their attention to us. The girl with orange hair looks over to me in surprise.

"Ah, you're awake!" she says and I identify her as the one who found me on the beach earlier. I nod shyly as she smiles and introduces herself as Nami. The others introduce themselves one at a time. Luffy. Usopp. Chopper. Franky. Brook. Robin. Zoro.

I take a step forward and introduce myself in return. "My name is Crystal—"

As soon as the words escape my mouth, my breath catches in my throat and I almost fall to the ground, shaking. I can barely hear Sanji's voice as he tries to keep me on my feet.

Crystal. Crystal. _Crystal._

I want to scream. The dress is suddenly too tight for me. I can't breathe. _Crystal._ Even I can never see myself as anything other than Crystal. The orange haired girl bends over to hold me upright. I've fallen to my knees.

"Crystal! _Crystal!_" She calls.

It is such a cold name. Transparent and brittle. Like me. I hate it. I hate me.

"Hey, what's the matter? Are you hurt?" she says. "Crystal…"

"My name is not Crystal." I say coldly. "My name is not Crystal."

They both step away, taken aback by my abrupt change in tone. I straighten up and look at them in the eye. I have just shown them the most pathetic side of me. People I don't even know. But I can't let the shame take over me; I can't hate me forever.

"I'm sorry…" I say with a weak smile. "I'm still not feeling too well." Their expressions change to one of sympathy and so I press forward. "I meant to say my name is Hanna. Thank you very much for saving me. I owe you my life."

"Well we didn't really do much. You were already on the beach when we found you" Nami says, but then adds, "but of course that doesn't mean you don't owe us."

"I'll do anything to repay you." I say and I mean it quite literally. "Anything."

Once again an expression of surprise crosses her face, my earnestness astounds her. I take a seat in the corner of the table when I am bid to do so and eat my dinner consisting of shellfish soup and seagull steak leisurely. It seems that they have made the unspoken decision to wait until I have finished eating before starting anew with the inquiries.

Then it begins.

I am asked a variety of unusual questions ranging from my age, to the kind of skills I have. I answer as much as I feel comfortable to. I am eighteen, five feet and seven inches. I don't remember my star sign nor do I know what my ideal corresponding match is. I can't fight, though it would be a valuable skill to learn. I like meat to an extent. I don't really know any good stories to tell and my skills include performing and dancing.

Then at last comes the inevitable question I have been dreading.

"No, I don't want to go back to_ that_ island." I say, though I try, in vain, not to show exactly how much I don't want to go back. Because that would bring up more questions and I don't want to answer any more than I already have.

"Then you want to stay here?" Luffy says bluntly. I look down, it's too embarrassing for me to insist on staying with them. He stares at me with an unreadable expression and I am at a loss for words.

"Then we'll have to go back to get your things." Nami says in his stead. He does not seem to disagree. My heart swells at the thought of staying here, on board this ship that is sailing further and further away from the darkness of Blues Island. But I rein myself in before I can get too excited.

"I don't have anything." I say truthfully. The few items I had had floated down the sea. Even if I did have anything worthwhile I wouldn't risk returning to fetch it anyway.

The long nosed Usopp joins into the conversation. "Not even a bag of clothes" he says incredulously. "No food. No money?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't have any possessions," I say quietly and add, "…not anymore."

Stunned, they stop asking questions. In this day and age, with pirates and criminals roaming the seas, it doesn't take much imagination to guess what could have happened to me. After all they themselves had seen marines on the island. Where there are marines criminals are surely not too far away.

It is then decided that I can travel with the crew. I am not an official member and it is made clear that I may leave when I desire. But I am happier than I ever imagined possible.


	4. The Suspicions

**Chapter 4.**

I wake up, slightly dazed, to the soft snoring of Nami in the girl's chamber. From the dim light that filters through the closed curtains I deduce that it is breaking dawn. I swing my legs over the side of the makeshift bed the shipwright Franky installed late last night. It takes me a few moments but I start to regain my balance against the subtle movements of the ship.

I look around the room but only see Nami's sleeping figure curled up under the covers. Robin didn't come to bed last night. I wonder, with a strange sort of guilt, whether my presence has something to do with it. I am a stranger on their ship after all.

I head to the bathroom and run the tap on full. The cold water breaks my chain of thoughts and takes my worries away with it down the drain. I look up to the mirror hanging above the sink and to my surprise my reflection no longer shames me.

My eye are no longer that dull, empty black like endless mines. They are full of life and hope and new found freedom. My skin, though still marked by cuts and bruises, has a vitality that it's lacked for years. My hair, long like black drapes, hangs limply over my waist. I grab a pair of scissors from the cabinet under the sink and slice off the strands until my hair hangs just above my shoulders. Just this small change and I look different. A bit older, a bit more mature. I give myself an encouraging smile and head for the kitchen, in hopes of catching an early bird awake on the ship.

When I reach the ship's deck I am stunned by its beauty. The sun's light just peeking over the horizon catches every minute detail that I missed the night before. The main deck is covered in dewy grass and the great sail that bears the symbol of the straw hat pirates casts a looming shadow over the ship. A light goes off in the room above the sails. I wonder briefly if Robin is the one in that room, but I leave my misgivings in favor of the kitchen.

Inside the sound of sizzling and the smell of smoke fill the room. On the edge of the room, behind the counter, I find Sanji flipping a smoking fish in saucepan with one hand and drawing on his cigarette with the other. I walk closer to him until my footsteps grab his attention.

Unfortunately I seem to grab too much of his attention. He showers me with compliments and pours me a glass of freshly pressed juice from a tray with three glasses, which I assume are for the other ladies on the ship. It makes me feel relieved to know that I am not the only target for his affections.

I say a quick "Good morning" when he allows me to get a word in edgeways. He beams a blinding smile, then midway through his serenading he remembers that only yesterday I was a patient on their ship.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He says, and I can see the genuine worry in his eyes. It almost makes my heart flutter. I look down at the ground in embarrassment.

"I'm fine now." I say, "I think the soup from last night did the trick."

Now he is the one who blushes and turns back to the saucepan he seemed to have momentarily forgotten. "I'm glad to hear that. I hope you will enjoy this too. Pan fried fish in white vinegar."

He gives the fish another flip, this time much higher than he had when I entered the room. I chuckle under my breath. He is definitely a classy chef.

"Do you need any help?" I ask when I notice a bowl of fish that have not yet been gutted. He declines but I am persistent.

The first step to becoming accepted anywhere is to do what needs to be done. In this case it is the fish that needs to be done. It takes me a while but after convincing him of my restlessness and my need to preoccupy myself, he relents and I grab the sharpest knife I can find.

I try to fillet a fish but it slips out of my hand every time I get the knife near it. Behind me Sanji tries in vain to keep his amusement concealed. He takes hold of my two hands and guides me through the motions with a precision befitting a first class chef.

"Have you never cut a fish before?" he asks. I shake my head. "You have to hold it firmly but loosely. Like something delicate that you don't want to break but you don't want to drop."

He makes it look so effortless.

"This is the first time I've had to do this." I say absentmindedly. In my early life I was too young to help out in the kitchen and by the time I met Alistair my only purpose was to make money performing; kitchen duties fell to the other captives.

I try again without his assistance and the knife glides through the fish, spilling its innards onto the chopping board. I feel nauseous at the sight of it. Only yesterday, that could have been my stomach.

"Hehe you're a natural—eh, what's wrong?" Sanji says, peering into my face.

I avoid his eyes and line up the next fish. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you…" he begins, ignoring my unsure response. "It's just that…is there a reason you don't want to go back to your island?"

"No." I say a bit too quickly. "No reason at all. I just want to travel for a while."

"On a pirate ship?" he says sceptically.

I ignore him and pull out another fish. "It wasn't planned, but a pirate ship is better than no ship." I say casually. "Because of all the er…_trouble _on Blues Island merchant ships don't stop by often. It's not easy to leave that place."

"Oh…" he says simply, but I get the impression that he doesn't believe me.

The door opens and, as if on cue, Robin saunters in smiling. She greets us both politely and takes a seat on the table across the room. I smile back at her, but something about the way she was observing at me reminded me of the girls in the halls. Suspicious, hidden under the guise of cordiality.

Sanji and I prepare the last of the fish in silence and I am surprised to see that he hadn't left me in order to flirt with Robin. It confirmed my suspicions. They were watching me.

Not that I could blame them, of course. I would have reacted in the same way.

A lone girl refusing to return to an island guarded by marines, who seeks to journey the world on a pirate ship despite having implied that she was a victim of pirates. I could probably be a marine myself for all they knew!

I sigh and wonder what my next move should be. It won't be possible to stay on this ship forever.


	5. The Attack

**Chapter 5.**

I spend a week or so contemplating what I should do next. Robin seems to have slowly ceased her surveillance of me, probably presuming that I would have already made a move if I were planning it. She appears less and less when I came to the kitchen in the morning to help Sanji prepare breakfast and I don't feel her presence when I am performing on the deck in the afternoons for Luffy and the boys.

However, despite the lax in Robin's surveillance and the friendliness of the others, with the exception of Zoro whom I only ever see wake once in a while, I am still somewhat on edge. As if I can feel that something approaching… something that is going to make sure I can't stay on this ship comfortably.

And that something comes hard and rough.

It takes what feels like seconds for Usopp's announcement to reach the deck before the ship is bombarded by the boots of invading pirates. Their sign, a skull with a gold ring seems strikingly familiar, but I am pushed out of the way by one of Luffy's stretching arms before I can fully examine their flag.

I try to manoeuvre out of everyone's way, opting to leave the battlefield rather than become a liability.

Unfortunately, one of the enemy pirates has something else in mind. He comes strong and fast, whipping a chain from this sleeve with lightening speed. I can scarcely react before it knocks me flat to ground. The chain wraps around my leg and he slams me into the wall. I hear a shout but my eyes are too blurred to see where it's coming from. But I do hear the heavy footsteps of combat boots and I know the chain man is coming in my direction.

My heart beats frantically. He comes closer and the clacking of the chain grows wilder as he swings it through the air, quicker and quicker. I hear another yell and this time, over the echo of my beating heart and the roar of the swinging chains, I recognize the voice to be Sanji's. He is threatening the man with the chains, while he himself has his hands full with the other intruders.

I remember that I must not only fight for myself, but for the people of this crew who, in my time of need took me on board their ship and… saved me in more ways than one.

I stand on my shaking legs, just barely avoiding another strike. I dart into the kitchen and search for anything I can use as a weapon. Red blood drips from my forehead and spills into my eyes but my fingers continue to probe the floor for something sharp or heavy. I might not be strong enough to take him in a fight, but I can take a hit. And I plan to use that to my advantage.

The chain man bursts in through the door behind me just as my hand closes around a metal handle; a large kitchen knife. He sprints with no hesitation and his chain lurches forward towards my face. I duck under the table, feeling splinters of broken chains fly past me.

He pulls the chain back one more time and to my horror says: "You're pretty persistent babe. Why don't you just give up now, I won't hurt you too badly."

"Y-you're the pirate from the hall…" I cry and I realize my mistake when the chain comes down where I had been crouching.

"Nothing gets past you, eh doll face. Aren't you gonna come out and say hi." He says and I hear the swinging of chains once more.

I take a deep breath and ready myself for a counterattack. The question of how he found me here can wait. The chain comes down and I lunge from my cover under the broken table. His left leg is the closest to me; I embed the blade into his thigh.

He screams painfully as I push the blade deeper. Using the rest of my weight I knock him off his feet. He struggles against the pain in his leg and my weight on his body. But rather than incapacitating him further, I pull him by the scruff of his shirt, as he had previously done to me, and scream: "How did you find me here? Who sent you? What do you want from me? Answer me—"

A yell outside cuts me off. The pirates are retreating. The chain spits bloody phlegm into my face and throws me off him when I try to wipe it off. I see a flash of blonde and green fly into the room, but the chain man has already run through the back door and dived into the ocean, probably preferring to face the attack of the waves than the kicks and slashes of the two angry pirates.

"Damn, they got away." Zoro says searching the surface of the sea for any sign of the chain man. "Cowards."

Sanji appears altogether more angry and frantic, but he reels it in to help me to my feet. "Are you OK Hanna-chan?" he asks anxiously. "Damn it! If I get my hands on that bastard!"

I try to smile and reassure him that I'm fine, but my face doesn't move. With my fading adrenaline the numbness subsides and searing pain comes in flurries. I feel tears well up in my eyes but I'm too slow to wipe them away.

"Don't cry, Hanna-chan." Sanji says and pulls his arms around me and to my surprise I allow him to do so.

"Well at least you managed to take care of him." I hear a deep voice say, though it is slightly muffled by the cloth of Sanji's blazer. I glance up from Sanji's embrace to see Zoro staring at us sourly. "This is yours isn't it, cook?"

Sanji pulls away and stares at the item in Zoro's hand. The kitchen knife I had used as a weapon. Sanji squeals and cradles his knife.

"My best knife!" he says. "That bastard got his dirty blood all over it."

I sit up and say: "I'm sorry Sanji. I didn't know what else to use..."

His face freezes with guilty surprise and he quickly replies "No! No, I'm glad you it was used to protect you."

He then breaks out a downtrodden smile and says "Although I don't like to see kitchen tools to be used as weapons... I would hate it even more to see a lady being injured." He tries to reassure me but I can tell he is still distraught over the state of his knife. I make a silent vow to myself to make it up to him somehow.

Behind me, foot steps march then stop nearby.

"Get over it, stupid cook." Zoro says then adds: "But that was a pretty reckless thing to do."

I soon realize he is addressing me. "If you don't know how to use a blade properly, it can easily backfire on you." He continues. "You got lucky this time."

Despite his harsh tone, I am inclined to agree with him. It was a reckless move. Had the chain man grabbed the knife before I managed to jump him, I would I have the one with a slashed leg…or worse. In the end, he still managed to beat me with little difficulty without even answering my questions. If Zoro and Sanji hadn't appeared when they did…I shudder to think what would have happened.

In fact, I shudder to think what will happen…what will happen when those men return.


	6. The Dilemma

**Chapter 6.**

My legs move with a lopsided sway as I try to find a comfortable place to rest. Although my injuries have been neatly attended to by Chopper, the horror of what happened earlier today disturbs my sleep. Even Nami's kind offer to let me share her bed until the shaking stops doesn't pacify my anxiety.

I have been in fear of my life before, many times, but something about the way the events of today unfolded leaves me unsettled. Was it a random attack on a passing pirate ship, one that I happened to be riding on, or were they actively searching for me? Reluctantly, I try to recall what I saw today. Or better yet, what I didn't see.

Their captain.

The large, scar faced man that led the raid on the Hall. Pirate captain John Claw of the Armored pirates. I had only spoken to him once, briefly, to confirm to him the rumor that Alistair Sterling, the benefactor of Blues Island, was also one of the ringleaders of the underground organization TAKE. I had only a few minutes to speak to him as my escort, a surly drunk named Visor, had taken a break after accompanying me the tailor to get a new fitting for a dress by getting wasted in the local bar.

I had explained to the curious captain that Alistair was as rich as he had suspected and not as crystal clean as he presented. He would have a shady group to protect his wealth, but it was nothing a group of grand line hardened pirates could not handle. I left the captain to ponder my words, carefully avoided giving direct information about myself, and tried to guide Visor out of the bar before he started provoking the other customers into a fight; a side effect of having one drink too many.

I wonder what happened to the Hall after I was taken in by Luffy. If those pirates were here, without their captain, could it be that Alistair is blackmailing them into cooperation? One captain for one escapee.

It's not a farfetched speculation.

But it also means that I must not let my guard down again. For the time being, it also means I can't leave the safety of this ship. Once again, I'm cornered.

"Oh, you're still up?"

A deep voice asks and both he and I are surprised by my startled response as I almost tumble down the stairs. Zoro somehow manages to balance three bottles of rum in one hand and a handful of the hem of my nightdress in the other hand, instantaneously. I tumble into his arms and we fall onto the deck at the top of the stairs.

"Careful." He says with a distinct hint of annoyance in his voice. Probably because I am still sitting on his chest. I stand up hastily and feel a cool, uncomfortable draft where my legs were warm with embarrassed blood. In the fall, he managed to rip my nightdress and in the stand I managed to give him a full view of what was underneath it.

Mortified, I try to hide what a can to the best of my ability, but I thankfully find it to be unnecessary. Zoro's expression is undisturbed and indifferent. Unlike the men back in the Halls, who would try to peep on us while we changed, and even the men on this ship who I've seen wondering around the bathroom area when it was time for our morning shower, Zoro did not seem at all interested in the sight before him. His lack of attention makes me feel relieved.

"I'm sorry," I say and find myself unable to say anything else. "…I'm sorry."

He gives me a curious glance. "What's wrong?" He has such a sharp eyed stare that I fear he will be able to read my mind with little resistance.

"I just wanted to get some fresh air…" I say and when my heart starts to calm down, the dull ache from my injuries return and remind me what really is wrong. I suspect that my thoughts betray me because I then see Zoro staring at the bandages on my arms and legs.

"Are you worried about what happened earlier?" He asks, but his voice is neutral rather than sympathetic. "Don't forget, this is a pirate ship. Raids and ambushes happen, it's just something to be aware of and prepared for. There's no need to be scared. One Usopp is enough."

"I know." I say, and I want to say that I already know the nature of pirates very well, but that's not a discussion I feel like having right now. What I need now is not talk, but action. I need a resolution to my problems and deep inside my heart I feel as though the answer to my problems is lying down in front of me cradling three bottles of rum next to his three instruments of power and defense.

"I know what pirates are like…" I say and I feel a bout of courage grow inside me that I haven't felt since the day I escaped from the island. "…and you were right, fighting recklessly… can easily backfire on me…" Recklessly like leaving a prison with no concrete plan, "…so if it would not be too much trouble for you, would you please teach how to use a sword?"

He blinks a few times. "What?"

"I said would you teach me how to use a sword."

"I heard what you said," He says, "I mean, why?"

"I don't want to be useless… next time." Useless and helpless I add silently.

"It's not that easy." He mumbles. "You don't just _decide_ to be a swordsman." He glares at me when he says "It's not a game."

I steel myself and return to him the same glare of determination. "Neither is my life. I don't plan to play with either. So please, will you teach me?"

My answer seems to satisfy him. His face softens and what could pass off as a smile on his usually impassive face forms as he answers: "Ok then, we'll start tomorrow. Be ready after breakfast and don't forget, you asked for it."

He takes his three bottles and disappears up the crews nest. I stare up the ladder for a long time, wondering if I've made a wise choice or just added more problems onto my already full plate of troubles. But in that moment a small breeze sweeps across my exposed backside and reminds me that my situation can't really get much worse than it already is.


	7. The Tension

I wake up earlier than usual today. A combination of my insomnia and my anticipation for my coming sword lessons. The light in the crow's nest is on and I see Zoro's unmoving silhouette against the window.

He's fallen asleep on watch again.

I contemplate waking him up, to save him from having to face Nami's wrath when she wakes up, but I wonder how he will interpret my actions. Will he think I'm just trying to gain his favour, will he decide to take it easy on me during training to show his appreciation?

He is not a straight forward person for me to figure out. I don't know how he will react, just as I wasn't sure yesterday when I was compelled to ask for his assistance. But all I know is that I don't want to give him a reason to take it easy on me. I need to learn and I need to learn fast.

No sooner than I finish putting the chairs down from the table and prepare the table Sanji saunters in, appearing much more upbeat and cheerful than he had yesterday.

"Good morning, Sanji." I say when he sees me and in return I receive the largest, most appreciative smile I've gotten in a long while.

"Good morning, my dear Hanna-chan." He says taking my hand in his. "I'm glad to see you looking happier today!"

"I was thinking the same about you just now, actually." I reply, but I think he misinterprets my statement for something else.

"Y-you, you were thinking about me?" He stutters.

"Well, not in so many words." I say sheepishly. "But I have been thinking…"

How would he react if he knew that it was actually Zoro on my mind? I knew they didn't get along too well and that Sanji hated to see an injured woman, even if it was for her own good. He is kind, and although kindness and pampering is not what I need right now, I feel as though I can say to him what I wouldn't dare to say to anyone else on this ship.

"…Do you think I'm reckless?" I ask him.

"Eh?" he says, caught off guard. "What brought this on all of a sudden?"

"It's not so much all of a sudden. I've been thinking it for a while." I say. I don't know why I am saying so much. "Being stupidly reckless is just going to get me killed eventually."

"What are you saying?" he says.

"I am going to learn how to fight." I say and watch his reaction. It shifts from shock to concern. Then he slips back into the calm, analytical side of his personality that he only seems to show in serious situations.

"You don't need to do that, Hanna-chan." He replies. His eyes stare into mine, probably trying to figure out why I suddenly seem so different. "I know…what happened yesterday must have been a shock. But you don't need to worry so much. We won't let anything happen to you anymore."

"Anymore?" I say, surprised.

He retreats from me, not making eye contact and draws on his cigarette. "From the day you arrived on this ship, I've always suspected that something had happened to you…"

When I remain silent he continues. "Furthermore, I didn't get the impression that those pirates were raiding us for treasure."

My heart starts to beat frantically. I regret having started this conversation. "What do you mean?" I say reluctantly. I have to know whether he's managed to figure me out.

"They after you." He says with no hesitation. My eyes water with anxiousness. "I thought about it. That chain guy seemed to be too fixated on you. You had already left the battlefield to hide in the kitchen and it was clear that his crew mates wouldn't be able to hold out against us for too long. Why would he chose to pursue you rather than search for the treasure?"

He takes another puff of smoke, still not looking at me. "At first I thought it was just my imagination but…"

He finally looks at me and stops talking. Tears are rolling down my cheeks now. He stares wordlessly, he probably wasn't intending to upset me. He moves forward with his arms extended but before he can reach me the door flies open and Luffy comes in running.

"Sanji! Food!" he yells. He seems oblivious to the atmosphere.

Sanji jumps to his feet awkwardly and reprimands Luffy for barging in without knocking, to which Luffy argues back that he doesn't care and that he is hungry. I take the opportunity to wipe my eyes quickly and leave the room before Sanji has the time to turn his attention back on me.

I run up to the library as quickly as I can before the others arrive on the deck for breakfast. It's the only place I can think of to hide for the duration of breakfast. I can't go back now. Not in the state I'm in.

I file through the surprisingly vast collection of books in the library. The subjects vary from maps and cartography to history and culture, myths and legends to simple gardening. I pick a book at random. _The Silent Sea_. I read through the blurb quickly. It is a fictional book about a girl lost at sea, trying to overcome the obstacles that block her path to travel home.

Who would a book like this belong to?

Most of the boys in the crew didn't seem like storybook readers, except maybe Usopp. Though I suspect that he wouldn't enjoy such a melancholy story. Perhaps it belonged to the girls. But neither Nami nor Robin seemed like the type to waste their time reading unessential literature.

Regardless, I take the book to the table and flick through the pages, in hopes that the story will draw me into a world away from mine.

Which it does. Then it doesn't.

I reach the fifth chapter, then I can't read anymore. Lena, the protagonist of the novel, is a much braver person than me. Despite the fact that she is only a fictional character and I am a flesh and blood human I feel an intense, burning envy of her.

She manages to survive the ship-wreak that took all her friends and family, and still have the courage to face a long journey alone to return home, even if nothing and no one is waiting for her. She has a goal that she will accomplish against all odds.

She isn't hiding from her troubles in a library, refusing to face reality no matter how much it scares her.

I put the book down.

Sanji had just confirmed what I feared the most. My suspicions were correct. They were definitely after me. Alistair wasn't going to let me go without a fight. It was not something I could ignore, or hope that a few practical lessons with a sword would fix. I need to have a plan. I need to have a goal. To survive, to be free is too vague an ideal. What I need is—

A knock on the door breaks my chain of thoughts.

Zoro walks in before I respond. In his hand is a plate of what I assume to be today's breakfast. Sanji must have given it to him. _Sanji_…

"Why are you up here?" Zoro asks, but when he sees the book in front of me he shrugs his shoulders and hands me the plate. I eat fast. Although he doesn't say anything, I instinctively know that Zoro isn't in the mood to wait for me. Perhaps Sanji had deduced who was going to give me fighting lessons and gave Zoro a lecture at the table.

When I finish, we head to the crow's nest away from the prying eyes of the rest of the crew.

Surprisingly, rather than giving me a sword to practice with, the first thing Zoro does is sit on the ground with his legs crossed and his eyes closed. I sit in the same position about a meter away, waiting for him to explain the next step.

"First of all," He begins, "in order to practice the art of the sword you have to be able to maintain your composure, so we'll start by meditating. Close your eyes."

I follow his instructions. My breathing slows until it matches the pace of Zoro's and after an hour or so my mind is as clear as the blue sea. The_ silent sea. _Memories of the book return to me and break my concentration.

"What's wrong?" Zoro asks. I'm not sure how he knows because his eyes are still closed.

"Nothing." I reply.

"Nothing, like last night nothing? Or nothing like running out of the kitchen in tears, nothing?" He says, his voice completely calm despite the skepticism.

I am tired. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want to think anymore.

I stand without his instruction, ignoring his comment, and grab a pair of wooden swords from the gym section of the crow's nest.

"Can we start?" I say, all pretense of nervousness gone. Only resolve and silent anger, not aimed at him but at myself and the people I've allowed to push me down.

He takes one of the wooden swords wordlessly and he starts our training with powerful, relentless strikes. It takes all of my strength to parry his attacks but despite the crippling pain I feel in my arms and legs, I have never felt more alive.


	8. The Calm

**Chapter 8.**

It is only when dark purple bruises start to form on my arm that Zoro decides to stop the lesson. The wooden sword falls hard on the floor as my grip finally fails. I sink into the sofa as my arms ache, then jerk forward, afraid of staining it with my sweat.

Zoro looks over, bemused, but only says: "That should be enough for today. Go get some rest, we'll start again first thing tomorrow."

There is sweat forming on his brow too, but I find it strange because it didn't seem to me that he was exerting much energy while fending off my attacks. It was a pretty one sided sparring match. I start to rub my arm, to soothe the pain and to comfort me as I nervously ask:

"H-how did I do? Do you think I have potential?" I say.

I don't know why I am so nervous, or why my heart is beating so fast. But I suspect it is because I fear his answer; I am not good enough. He glances as me, eyebrows arched, as if he is surprised that I had asked him. He is silence for a few moments.

"Well, you certainly have potential." He says, "I mean, any beginner who can survive a five hour drill with me without complaints can't be too bad, right?"

I can't help grinning. A comment like that coming from someone like Zoro, it sounds like the best compliment you could ever ask for. I bow to him, the way disciples would in the samurai books I used to read in my childhood. He supresses a smile.

It slowly occurs to me that he is a much nicer person than his usual demeanour would suggest. I stumble my way into the bathroom, on my way noticing the complete silence aboard the ship. One glance out of the window tells me why.

We've reached an island.

I had been so absorbed in the training and in the pain in my joints as a result of it, that I hadn't realised that the ship had been docked. Once I finish cleaning myself, I do a quick spot check of the ship.

Everyone is gone.

Zoro and I are the only ones left on board. I take a peak around every room to see if there is anything left for me to do. The kitchen is left spotless, as well as the bedrooms and the toilets. The decks have been cleared of debris and dirt. The ship is impeccable.

I sigh. There is nothing for me to do.

I look over the ship's lion figurehead to the island. From what I can see there isn't much to do. Trees and overgrowth grow as far as the eye can see. It seems to be an uninhabited land. I contemplate going off to visit the forest, to give myself a change of scenery. But I can't shake the fearful feeling that wells from the pit of my stomach.

"Are you planning to go to the forest?" Zoro asks.

He has changed from his sweat-drenched t-shirt to a colourful open shirt; he is probably also planning to go to the forest. I hesitate in answering. If I say no, he will probably go on alone and leave me to watch the ship. I am sure he trusts me enough now to let me watch it alone. But then that anxious feeling will probably grow even more. (I am a coward for thinking this way, I know.)

But if I say yes, what will happen then?

Will he stay on the ship and leave me to wander about among the trees alone? Or will he come with me to explore. I dawns on me that, along with Robin, Zoro is one of the only crewmembers I don't actually know that well. Now that our sparring session has finished, I don't really feel as if I have anything in particular to discuss with him. If we do go together, it will surely be an awkward trip…

"What's wrong, are you scared?" He says after seeing my reluctance.

"N-no. I wanted a change of scenery and I thought it would be nice to have a look around, even if there isn't much to look at. But it wouldn't be fair to leave you here alone to watch the ship while I have fun. But then I didn't know if you wanted to go or anything…"

I bite my tongue. I am just rambling on now. Not that his blank stare is helping me explain.

"We could just go together. It's not like there's anyone around to attack the ship, you know." He says plainly, unaware that I was dreading such a suggestion.

I nod bashfully, too ashamed to reject his suggestion. Together, we leave behind the Sunny and enter the wilderness.

We walk for not even an hour before we get lost. Zoro, as I come to realise, is not one for directions. It is only after we pass the same fallen tree half a dozen times that he even considers asking me if I know the way back. I don't.

I am not used to trekking outside. The thick, stale odour of moist leaves and the fading sunlight, trapped between the falling vines of high tree tops, begin to disorientate me. My eyes blur and my breathing is heavy.

"Do you mind if we take a break?" I suggest.

When Zoro agrees, albeit reluctantly, I find a place to sit, a wet patch of grass near some sparsely growing ferns, and lay my head against a tree and close my eyes. I hear a muffled thump as her takes a seat on the floor besides me.

In the background, cicadas chirp and birds tweet. A cold wind howls through the treetops, and a distant river wails. Moisture seeps into my dress, wild mushrooms prod my behind, and tiny insects crawl onto my legs.

However, despite the cold and my nausea, never in my life have I felt so at peace.

It is strange that I feel so calm now. I wonder what triggered the change. I open my eyes and in the dim light, I see his sleeping figure against the tree. With his eyes closed and his body relaxed, Zoro doesn't seem nearly as intimidating he did before. I had spent the better part of the day with him, training and walking. Though we hadn't spoken much, for some reason I felt strangely comfortable in his presence.

Was it because he offered to accompany me into the forest, regardless of my very obvious fear?

I didn't know, but I was grateful to him nevertheless. "Thank you" I whisper.

To my surprise, his lips crease slightly. He was awake the entire time.

**Quick note: Thank you to everyone who has supported this story so far (favourites/follows/reviews), I very much appreciate it! Sorry for taking so long to update. As I have mentioned in my profile, now that I have started working it may take a bit longer to post new chapters up, but I definately don't plan on dropping this fic or my other one. xx**


	9. The Dream (pt 1)

**Chapter 9.****  
**

I had a dreamless sleep that night.

It was likely the combination of my exhausting training session and the long walk that had followed it that had tired me out more than expected. We had set sail that very evening, after everyone had returned. There was nothing of much value on the island and it wasn't a chartered island according to Nami.

However, for some reason, it made me a little sad to leave it behind. Perhaps it was some sort of nostalgia, having firm ground to lay my feet on. It was nice being on a ship, especially one as nice as this, but the incessant push and pull of the waves, as well as the vastness and unpredictability of the ocean was at times unnerving.

Over the next few weeks, I sometimes I found myself staring at the deep waters over the ship's prow, wondering if a life at sea was really my calling.

_If it is, why do I feel as though there is a void…and if it isn't, what is my purpose now? _Thoughts like these ran a mile through my mind almost daily.

"What's wrong?"

A calm voice says from behind me. It feels strange to me now that I can recognise it without even having to turn around.

"Nothing. I was just waiting for you to come up so that we can start the training again." I say and grab the sword I had kept at my side.

'Swordsmen are never without their swords' was what Zoro had told me when he thought I was finally ready to begin handling a real sword. I was a fast learner, he said. Though I didn't tell him that I had to be, considering the relentless way he trained me.

"At this time?" He yawns. I didn't even notice the moon closing on the horizon; it isn't even the crack of dawn yet.

"Ah, I was on watch anyway," I add sheepishly, "and the…moon is so nice tonight that I thought I would come down to see it."

Although he doesn't look convinced, he just shrugs his shoulders and heads to the kitchen. I internally debate whether to follow him in or not.

The sudden _closeness_ I had felt to him I had felt on our walk has dissipated into something awkward. When we are not in training, focused entirely on the session at hand, I find myself unable to hold down a proper conversation with him. It is as though any interesting thoughts I have disappears before they reach my lips and something inane or foolish tumbles out instead.

It is unfortunate because there many things I would like to ask him; things that the rest of the crew had all readily told me after only a few weeks on board their ship.

I know that most of them were from the East Blue and that all of them had dreams and goals that had attracted them to the Grandline like magnets. I imagine that their goals must be more important to them than anything in the world since they have risked so much of themselves to travel as far as they have; I can't help but wonder what my own goal is.

To return home? It sounds simple, but…

"Where's your sword?"

My mind is immediately attentive. "It's here."

"Then let's begin."

Once again the training is exhausting but I somehow manage to make it out without getting so much as a cut. It doesn't escape his notice.

"Oh, looks like you're getting the hang of it." He says, smirking. "Now, if you put as much effort into your offence as you do your defence, you won't even need me to teach you."

"Well…I would rather keep myself safe than harm someone, if I can help it."

"I understand what you mean but that's not the kind of attitude you should be taking into battle."

Once again I find myself at a loss for words. I feel my body withdraw into itself. This time, however, he actually seems to notice. His eyes calmly take in my stiff posture, clenched fist and drawn face. He is silent, as if lost in thought, then places his swords on the corner of one of the sofas, arms folded and says; "Who are you protecting yourself from?"

I don't reply immediately. The way he positions himself tells me that he is not going to leave or let me leave without an explanation. For a while, I had forgotten how intimidating he could be, even when he wasn't trying.

"I don't really feel comfortable telling you." I say at last.

Although it's not immediately obvious, I can tell that it catches him by surprise. His eyes open a bit wider than usual and his eyebrows arch subtly. It is strange to think that I have learnt to read his expressions so well over the past weeks.

"It's not like I'm going to force you to talk if you don't want to." He says in an even tone, but I realise I can't read him completely yet; I can't tell whether I have offended him or not.

"I know you're not…It's just that…Well, I don't really know much about you. So it would feel strange to me to tell you everything about myself."

"O…k. What do you want to know?"

"Erm," I feel suddenly hesitant to ask, not wanting to cross some unspoken boundary that might alienate me from him more than I already feel. "Why did you decide to become a pirate? I heard from Usopp that you were an infamous pirate hunter."

"I didn't choose to become a pirate, a pirate chose me. Luffy, specifically. Under the circumstances, I didn't have much choice."

"Oh…is that something you regret?"

"No. I don't make choices I will regret. While I didn't expect my life to turn out the way it did, I think it was fate that I met Luffy on that day. I don't think I would have grown so much in such a small space of time if I had not met him."

"I-I see."

It had never occurred to me that Zoro would see things in this way. In fact, from my observation, he didn't really seem to be particularly close to Luffy or anyone else on this ship. He mostly engaged in solitary activities, rarely taking part in the games played by the other crewmembers. It almost seemed to me, sometimes, that the crew was just a means to an end to him. That he travelled with them in order to navigate through the Grandline and meet strong fighters.

But judging from his words and tone of voice, that was not the case at all.

It was fate that allowed him to meet Luffy, just as it was fate that allowed me to meet them all. A fate that I had to take control of and make my own.

"I want to defend myself because I am weak," I say, no longer hesitant to talk about myself. "And I don't attack because I have nothing to fight for."

"And why is it that you have nothing to fight for?"

I take a deep breath and smile. It's a question that I have long awaited and never really felt able to answer…until now. Seeing Zoro reclined in the chair, ears perked in interest, I finally feel able to divulge the part of myself I've always tried to repress. The experiences that, if I didn't know any better, I would compare to a distant dream…or rather, a nightmare.


	10. The Dream (pt 2)

**Chapter 10.**

As I recount to Zoro the story of my life, the words start to trickle slowly then flow like a river after rainfall.

"The day that my life had changed forever had begun quite normally. Or so I had thought, I was painfully naïve at the time.

My hometown was on an island called Eternia. Land of the stars. It was quite well known for its riches; silver, gold, diamonds. Many valuable and precious stones and metals could be found there, so it was always busy. We even had a few marine stations there, to stop all the pirates that would come looking for treasure.

So growing up, my town, even though it was small and quite far away from the main city, had always been quite safe. However, something had gone wrong. Looking back now, it had been going wrong for a long time before I realised it.

You see, a few days earlier a man had come into the town. Although it wasn't such a strange event; travellers came and went at their leisure quite regularly, there was this sense of…foreboding when this man arrived.

I remember hearing the neighbours whispering amongst themselves, saying things like that '_dreadful man thinks he can just waltz in here and do what he likes,' _and _'why don't the marines just send them packing.' _

At the time I didn't understand what they meant, because I remember my parents saying that the man was a businessman not a pirate, but I knew his presence wasn't very well received. I had only seen him once, coming out of my father, the major, office's before I was smacked and quickly ushered away by my mother.

I think it was at that moment when I really started to notice that something wasn't right.

My mother and my father were members of the local council at the time. I had been to many meetings with them, waiting outside the room to greet guests, and they had never reacted in such a way. I had always been allowed to be in the presence of visiting guests.

But not this one.

Even now I remember the odd way he had stared at me, with cold appraising eyes as if I were an object rather than a child.

I stayed home with the neighbours the next day. They said my parents were busy with the meeting, so they wouldn't have time to take care of me for time being. Usually I wouldn't have minded, I knew that they had a lot of work to do and I didn't want to burden them. But this time, strangely, I felt compelled to find them, regardless of the punishment I would receive… The punishment I did receive was…far worse than I could ever have imagined."

I stop, taking a minute to compose myself. Zoro watches impassively, waiting for me to get to the point.

"…I arrived at the office around midnight, after the neighbours had gone to bed. The door wasn't locked so it wasn't hard for me to get in. But when I went inside, it wasn't my mother or my father who I found sitting at the desk.

It was that man and another, who for the next five years I would come to know as Alastair. They watched me with some sort of twisted amusement, which erupted into a callous laughter when I asked them of my parents' whereabouts. They said I wouldn't need to worry about that anymore.

They would be my new family now.

I couldn't even fight back when they took me, I couldn't even move. I only found out I had been kidnapped when I woke up chained to the mast of a moving ship.

Eventually, I discovered from the hushed whispers from the other crewmates that I was a criminal from Eternia, banished after being caught stealing the town's precious gold. Alastair had aided them in my capture and had been handsomely rewarded and I, the criminal named Crystal, had only been spared at his mercy and was to follow his _every_ order if I wanted to survive."

Zoro nods slowly, as if he has come to some understanding about me. My throat begins to dry up, that's as much as I can talk about with him, but I utter, "Even now, I don't know what happened to my parents that night, nor the reason I was taken away for so long. But I know that without strength I won't be able to change anything."

"So you're trying to go back home?"

"No…I…I don't know. The thing is—"

The door opens suddenly and Sanji comes tipping through, along with Usopp, Nami and Luffy. They tumble on the floor in a noisy heap of limbs while I try to process my thoughts through the shock.

"Opps, sorry Sanji!" Luffy says cheerfully as he ducks Sanji's kick.

"You idiots!" Nami shouts as Usopp tries in vain to crawl away. They continue to argue amongst themselves, as if they had forgotten the reason they were hiding in the first place. For some unknown reason, I can feel my heart beat frantically and my blood boil dangerously hot. It had taken a lot for me to open up, even a little, even to only one person.

"What are you doing?" I say, barely suppressing the anger in my voice. They all stop suddenly.

"Ah, we were just passing by and we heard you talking…we didn't mean to eavesdrop on you Hanna-chan. We've just been worried about you." Sanji said.

"Yeah, you've been really quiet lately. We just wanted to be able to help you." Nami added.

Although they try again and again to explain themselves, I can't bring myself to accept their reasons or excuses. Because now I remember; I remember why I could not approach or trust anyone. Why, even in my loneliness and solitude, I had built this unseen wall that separated the delicate, fragile Hanna and the numb, cold-hearted Crystal.

I wasn't entirely truthful to Zoro.

I hadn't taken away from my home. No, I had been sold; given away by the ones I trusted the most. Given away by my own parents.

**Note: This chapter was a little different (being mostly a long conversation) delving into some of Hanna's past. I would really appreciate any comments or thoughts towards this chapter in particular, as it will help me decide the direction this story will take :) **


	11. The Foreboding

**Chapter 11.**

The next island couldn't come soon enough.

Since the incident in the morning, I had locked myself in the library and nobody was brave enough to disturb me. I guessed that my outburst had caught them off guard in more ways than one. I imagine that Sanji is preparing his dinner of despair, or whatever alliterative nonsense he could come up with and Nami was probably waiting for me to come down to have a heart to heart, to release all the pent up emotions I am feeling.

Despite her general rowdiness, and occasional violence, she was always the one who would advocate verbal diplomacy rather the fist-throwing the male crew members were fond of, or the silent technique Robin seemed to practice.

But I had done enough talking.

The second the ship drops anchor at the pier, I dart off into the town, ignoring the calls from the crew.

The town is a busy one. Ember town, according to the leaflets I have found in one of the many inns, is a well-known tourist destination. The town square is lined with markets selling wares that range from beautifully crafted gold and silver ornaments to freshly baked breads native to the island.

My stomach rumbles as I pass one of the stalls. I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch, my last meal the evening before had been half eaten by Luffy. I am tempted to grab a bite to eat, but I have no money and I'm no thief.

So I settle for an aimless wander around the town, vigilant of any Strawhats or pirates. At least until the evening, I want to be alone with my thoughts.

Across the market, I notice a park where families have gathered. Children swing on the swings, run along the grass, chase each other, share sweets with one another…and just seem to be generally content. It's been a while since I've seen such a happy scene. I take a seat on an empty bench and watch them.

I am so focus on the children, particularly on lively little girl who reminds me of myself many years ago, that I don't notice a stranger sit beside me until he clears his throat loudly to get my attention.

"Is that child yours?" He asks, offering me a reassuring smile.

"No," I reply, but despite my smile I don't feel too comfortable, "I'm just enjoying the ambiance. It's a nice park."

"That it is. The mayor has put a lot of effort into making this place what it is." He says admiringly.

"Are you a local?" I scan him as quickly as politeness allows, taking in his firm, handsome face, casual jeans and shirt. I can't really place him, he could be a traveller or a local. But I keep my guard up until I can be sure.

"I have been in this town for a long time," He says, "No island in the whole of the Grandline can beat Ember town's culinary expertise."

"The food did smell pretty good…"

"Haven't you tried it?" he says, surprised.

"No I haven't had the chance too. Things are a bit expensive here."

"Then, would you allow me to treat you? I know the most beautiful restaurant in this town, an exquisite dining experience."

I want to protest but my stomach answers louder than my words. He smiles and offers me his hand but I am reluctant to take it.

"I-I don't even know your name," I say, "You don't even know mine!"

"Ah yes, forgive me. My name is Ramiro," he says, hand still hovering in the air, "What is yours, if I may ask?"

"Hmm…I'm…" I am in two minds over what should tell him. Should I be dear sweet Hanna, doormat ready to be hoodwinked and stomped on or Crystal, wily and manipulative, and also on the run from vengeful pirates. "…I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here really."

His face drops a little along with his hand, as if he is sad that I don't give him an answer. Then my stomach gives another rumble and reminds me that if I'm not meant to be here, I'm meant to be there, and I'm not quite ready to go back there yet.

Not quite ready to face them.

"Do you like flowers?" I ask bashfully. It's a random question, aimed to give me enough time to think of a reply while he's a little thrown by my question. However, he answers quickly and cheerfully.

"Of course, particularly the unique ones that can catch your eye even in a vast meadow."

I try to restrain my laughter, it was my question that led to it after all. However, it's given me enough time to come up with an answer. "Then you can guess the name of this unique flower?" He laughs along with me and I feel as though my split mind has settled. Why settle for one half of myself, when I can empower myself with both. Sweet and wily.

"A beautiful girl like you, must be a Rose." He says as I take his hand, "Or perhaps a dainty Daisy?"

"I'm much simpler than that."

"A simple girl," He murmurs, "A simple flower. Hana?"

"Wow, you're pretty good. Though I should probably mention I'm a double_ n_," I pause then add, "not single."

He smiles wistfully, "we won't be long. Shall we go, Hanna?"

I leave behind the playing children and walk with this stranger, following my appetite into a tall, well-decorated building. Sharply dressed waiters lead us into a sit at the back, one dimly lit by dewy candle light and lightly scented by scattered flower petals. It is even more beautiful than I had expected. I'm so lost in the décor that I almost don't notice the meals arrive. They come in droves. I had only seen such a selection when Alistair was trying to impress one of his sordid friends. He would wine and dine them, then take them shopping in the hall where they could take a pick a girl that peaked their fancy and buy them off…

The fact that the food was all here, only for me to eat, makes my eyes well up with years' worth of repressed tears. I take a deep breath and repress them some more. Now isn't the time for tears, it is time to eat. And eat I do.

I only stop in-between bites to answer some of his questions and to ask some of my own, but he loses me the moment the lobster comes out. Although I know I am being somewhat rude to my companion, the rumble in my stomach just doesn't seem satisfied until I give up on talking and concentrate on eating. It is only after I take the final bite of Ember bread that I realise that Ramiro has stopped eating.

"What's wrong, Ramiro?" I ask. I look at his plate and notice that he had only eaten a small plate of rice, ordered separately from my own meal. I look up at him and the jovial crease in his eye is gone, his long, piercing stare strikes me.

The fork falls out of my hand, not by voluntary action, but by the incessant shaking that suddenly befalls me. "What-wha..s" My brain starts to scatter, I can't form words properly.

My vision starts to dim; the room seems too dark and his eyes…his eyes seem too bright….

**Quick note: Thank you everyone who is following/favouriting this story, and a special thank you for the reviewers because if I'm being totally honest, I've been winging the last couple of chapters, so your support has really been pushing me to write something, even if I don't know what that something is until its typed up!**


	12. The Deceit

**Chapter 12.**

Cold.

The first word that enters my mind as I stir from my induced slumber. There is an uncomfortable draught blowing from somewhere, but I can't do anything about it. My arms and legs are bound by taut ropes. My back is against something hard, a wall? I don't know, I can't see, my eyes are blindfolded. The floor is steady and unmoving. I am not on a ship, I must still be on the island.

Rummaging through hazy memories, I try to figure out what has happened to me. Waiters had come running to help me but Ramiro had convinced them that I had fainted from the heat. He was going to take me to the hospital. But that look in his eyes had said otherwise. Ramiro had drugged my food. That much was clear. I knew that I was beginning hunted, it was foolish of me to give him even a second of my time, let alone follow him by myself.

What is going to happen to me now? Will Luffy and the others come looking for me? Even though I ran away from their ship without a care…

No. I have to find my own way out of this mess. Depending on others is not an option; I can't let myself fail at each turn. I twist my wrists to loosen the rope. It chaffs against my skin, the burning sensation travels up my arms. I grit my teeth and try again. The robe gives a little, softened slightly by the blood and sweat that trickles from my wrist. It hurts; it stings; it burns.

"She's in here."

I hear a voice say. Ramiro. The creaking sound of a door echoes in the room and two sets of footsteps enter. I stop moving immediately and fall limp, thankful that my arms had been tied behind my back, hiding the blood that pools in my palms.

"All this damn trouble for this little thing?" A man says and he turns my drooping face over with the tip of his shoe. "Hey, when is she going to wake up?"

"I'm not sure. It's been a few hours already but I used quite a bit of the sleeping dust. I don't think it will wear off for at least a couple more hours. Do you want me to top it up?" Ramiro says. I feel a warm hand under my jaw, feeling for my pulse. I pray that my heartbeat doesn't betray me.

"Nah, don't bother. I'm sure that Alistair guy will want to see the fear in her eyes when he gets her. He's that kind of guy." At the sound of Alistair's name, my breath hitches for a second and my heart skips a beat.

"Oh, has she done something to him?" Ramiro asks. He removes his hand. He doesn't suspect anything.

"Don't know. He said he'll give back our captain if we bring her back. But that pirate ship she was on was no joke. They took out most of our men. I'm surprised you have most of your limbs," the man says. There is a trace of anger in his voice. Anger and, surprisingly, suspicion.

"Actually, she was alone when I found her," Ramiro replies. His voice is even, I can't visualise what kind of expression he must be making.

"Lucky for you, eh. She's a wily little fox. Hopped onto a pirate ship before we could get through those marines. Well, she won't be pulling moves like that again, that's for sure."

"Ah well that's unfortunate. She's quite a lovely girl. Does this Alistair have something particular in mind?"

The man laughs pitilessly, "Who knows. But she won't be so lovely for long." He kicks my side as if to emphasise his point. I hold back a cry as I fall to the ground. The floor is cold but I can't move.

"Hey, now, I delivered her to you nice and pretty," Ramiro says, "There's no need to mess her up."

"Ha, I didn't know The Blue Snake Ramiro had a soft spot for useless wenches." The man says and takes another shot at me. This time my body is so tense I barely feel it.

"I do, now, if you would please," Ramiro replies. A hand is placed under my chest and I'm heaved up into a seating position in the corner of a wall. "I won't let you off my payment if she dies before you take her."

"Yeah, yeah. It not our job to do that anyway. Before that, close the window. She might freeze to death before the ship even gets here." The man says angrily.

"No. The sleeping dust often induces fevers in the target. It makes them easier to deal with if they happen to wake up early, but it also means that extra care has to be taken. Unless you want to nurse her yourself, I suggest that you leave the window open."

As they argue about the necessity of drugging me and how beating me up would have been sufficient, the truth of Ramiro's words weigh on me. Without the accompanying adrenaline that was pushing me to remove the ropes and withstand the blows I had been dealt, my limbs weighed heavily on me. As if they could fall off at any time. Despite the darkness of the blindfold, there was a pressure behind my eyes. My breath was short and thick.

I was in serious trouble.

The argument ceases and Ramiro says, "Anyway, my job is done now. So if you would please give me the payment, I'll be on my way."

"Yeah, good job. I'll go get it now," the man says. There is the clap of shaking hands and one pair of footsteps exits the room. The other moves forward, towards me, and stops in front of me. Someone leans over me, their breath cool and calm.

"Well then, my flower, I'm off," Ramiro says, and the tone of his voice tells me that he must be smiling. If only I had brought a sword with me, I would have slashed a permanent grin onto his face.

"It is a shame that things had to end this way, you really are a beautiful girl." He says, stroking my hair. "Also, try not to cut yourself too deeply, a woman's hands are also part of their beauty."

I knew it. "So you knew." My voice comes out brittle and small, as if my mouth hadn't been used in days rather than hours. Though a light chuckle tells me he could hear it regardless.

"Of course, I'm a professional," He replies. He moves his hand from my hair down to my chin and lifts in with his fingers. "My interest is only in my payment. What happens thereafter is none of my concern. So if you plan to escape, then by all means do so. Those men won't be so sweet to you."

He opens my mouth with his thumb and a bitter liquid is poured into my mouth. When I gag and try to spit it out, something soft locks onto my mouth. Warm air blows on my cheeks. In my bewilderment, I inadvertently swallow the liquid. I twist my head to the side to remove his lips from mine, coughing and wrenching the liquid out of my mouth.

"I wouldn't be so loud if I were you," He whispers, placing his hand over my mouth. "That was just the antidote for the sleeping dust. It won't work immediately, but that's as far as I can accommodate you. Everything else will be in your hands."

"Why the hell would you help me," I try to let the anger I feel inside explode through my voice but nausea accompanies it. That was my first kiss.

"As I said, my only interest is in the money. The bounty those pirates had placed on you was pretty good considering your strength."

"What would you know about my strength, you snake. Considering the fact that you wouldn't fight me." I spit back at him. Perhaps if I had been given the chance to fight, I could have put the sword skills I spent hours practicing with Zoro to good use.

In a sort of twisted way, Ramiro reminded me of Sanji. Overly affectionate, fretting about harm coming of a woman, not even willing to take one on in a fight. Except even Sanji had boundaries he didn't cross. I bit my lips but could not get that disgusting taste out of my mouth.

"Would you have preferred it if I kicked you around like Rake did?"

That must be the name of the man who had been in the room with us… His name sounded familiar, he was at the Tavern when I had approached their captain John Claw. Yes, he was the one who wanted to start a fight with Visor before we left. He was a medium sized man, not too bulky. Maybe, if I planned right, I could take him out before more people came.

"Maybe I would. It would save me the trouble of having to finish you off later." I say. It's not a front of bravery, I really do plan to do it if I ever have the chance. Because this man, who wants to sell me for money like an object, disgusts me. His touch, his help, everything about him disgusts me.

"It would have been a one sided fight, not one in your favour I might add." Ramiro says as his footsteps recede into the background, "Well then, this is goodbye, Hanna. If you do make it out alive, I think this encounter should serve as a reminder to you. Be careful who you trust."

The door shuts. I am alone.


	13. The Fear

**Chapter 13.**

My heart beats in uneven rhythms. It speeds up and slows down so quickly that I struggle to catch my breath. I won't be able to fight like this, nor will I be able to run. But Ramiro's words ring in my ears incessantly; a harsh, shrill warning; be careful who you trust.

I have to get myself out of here.

It's even harder now to pull my wrists out of the ropes. They are bound tight and my arms are deadweight. I wonder if this is a side-effect of the antidote, if indeed it was an antidote. It takes me a few more minutes to pull out my left arm, but when it finally slips out, I rush to release my blindfold and bound legs. The sudden bright light blinds and disorientates me. It takes me a good minute to get a sense of my bearings, and when it comes it makes me despair even more.

The window I had been planning to escape from was barred by thick steel pillars, crudely hammered into the wall. Furthermore, the drop from the room was one that one have fatal consequences. A glance around the surprisingly small room indicates to me that there is nothing I can use as a weapon. No chairs, no lamps. Just a bed, a wardrobe and a chest of drawers. It would be foolish for me to try to hide anywhere in the room when there is clearly no other exit. Meaning that a bare fisted fight with bleeding limbs is my only option.

I take a cover from the bed, shed it to pieces to bandage my wrists and creep towards the door. On the other end of the corridor I hear a deep voice, presumably on a denden mushi. That man, Rake, has his back to me, animatedly describing what misdeeds they can start doing once their captain is set free. Soon, Ember Island will be a shadow of itself, its beauty will be ransacked by barely human brutes.

I think of those children in the park, laughing and playing without a care in world; how soon these carefree times will end for them. It's not enough for me to escape alone.

I tread slowly, strips of broken ropes held tout between sturdy fingers, knees bent low, ready to pounce. He is so distracted by his conversation that by the time he hears the creak in the floorboards, the rope is noosed tightly around his neck and he lets out a choked gargle.

I push him to the ground before he can knock me down with a punch, and I soon realise the mistake I have made. I try to wrestle with the man, who weighs at least ten kilos more than me, and is clearly at an advantage. My grip tightens around the rope's choking grip, but his punches are hard and heavy. One escapes my guard and hits me in the throat. Gasping for air, I let go of the rope in agony.

He curses under his breath as he loosens the messy knot I had made around his neck. In that time, however, I spot a way to victory. The broadsword hanging from his waist. His eyes open wide in shock when he finds himself on the other end of his own blade.

The sword is slightly heavier than the one I am used to using while practicing with Zoro, but I try hard to seem undeterred. Ignoring the ach in my limbs and the pounding pressure in my head, I stare down my foe, hoping that he chooses to retreat without a fight.

I'm not so lucky.

"Ha, you think that scares me, girl?" He laughs, albeit a dry wretched laugh, "I've been on the seas before you were even in diapers. I know a fighter when I see one, and I know a bluff when I see one!"

He dives forward and I see the flash of metal appear behind him. Our weapons clash in a deafening screech. He had a second sword clipped in a belt under his shirt.

We clash again, only this time I'm the one who is swinging in offense. Zoro was right. Thinking defensively, not wanting to attack, was not an attitude to bring into battle. If I want to keep myself safe, I have to do so at any cost.

He swings his sword on my right, towards my ribs and I parry the blow with a downwards strike.

"Not bad," He says, gasping for breath, "Guess those pirates must have shown you a thing or two, eh?"

"More than that," I say and take another swing towards his arm. Inwardly, I sigh. Even with my supposedly new found resolve to fight, I'm still trying to disarm rather than maim him. I'm not a pirate; I can't completely shut down my human compassion. I wonder what Zoro would say if he saw this fight. Being a swordsman is not a game, he had said.

We hold each other at arm's length, each judging whether to attack or defend. His hesitation makes me slightly relieved, I am enough of a threat to keep him on guard.

"What's wrong," I say as smugly as I can, "did you think that I would be an easy catch? Like you said, those pirates taught me a thing or two about taking down thugs like you."

He smirks at my retort and I can see that his eyes finally stop looking at me as though I am a walking doll, instead they pierce me as though I am a feral beast that needs to be put down. He thrusts his sword towards me face with fierce precision, I can barely stop the strike ripping through my flesh. He strikes again and again.

I'm soon backed into a corner.

In terms of pure strength, I'm hopelessly outmatched. Each blow I stop sends ripples through my bones. I grip the hilt of my sword tighter. The second it is knocked out of my hands is the second I forfeit my life.

He comes at me again, knowing that with the wall behind me, I have nowhere to go. His swing comes from above; my lucky chance. I swing my sword over my head to stop his and, using the wall as a jumping post, thrust my body into his. It seems that he had forgotten that for the best part of five years, I had been a dancer. The strength I lack in arm power, I made up for in acrobacy and leg strength. I jump over him and dive for the staircase.

If I can't out fight him, I have to out run him.

The staircase is narrow and long. Running with a sword in hand and bruised legs, it's hard not to trip over myself. My mind is less hazy now, thanks to the adrenaline, so I can just about catch myself each time I almost trip.

I hear his heavy footsteps meters behind me. He shouts orders at someone though I don't see or hear anyone around. It seems to be an empty building. Then I realise that he must be calling for reinforcements from outside. Perhaps they are already waiting for me at the exit. The thought sends shivers to my spine.

When I'm about two floors away from the exit, close enough to see the light at the door of the entrance, I realise that there is only one way to get out of here.

I break through the hallway door on the second floor and run down its corridor. As I thought, the entire building is just a derelict hotel. The metal bars on the widow from the upstairs window had been installed by one of the pirates. So I run to the furthest room until I reach the window, thankful to see it free of bars. I hear several footsteps echo from the staircase, they were waiting for me to come down after all. But they won't catch me now. I squeeze the mattress through the open window and jump before it lands on the ground.

The impact is cripplingly painful, but I can't stop to check the damage. I run as fast as my limping legs allow towards the darkening town centre until a gunshot rings through the night sky, bringing forth all the pain and fear I had tried to escape.


	14. The Reminiscence

**Chapter 14.**

Searing hot pain tears through the bloodied flesh of my shoulder, burning like hot coals on an open fire. A deafening screech resonances in my ears; I'm scarcely aware that it is the sound of my own screaming. The ground is no longer steady. Nothing stops me from falling to my knees, sinking into the ground in defeat. The hoots and cheers of the pirates' voices become thunderous as they close the distance between us. My vision is clouded by the sight of red blood seeping into the ground, I can only watch helplessly as my life flows out of my body.

I can't run and I can't fight.

They say when your body feels that it's reaching its end all the important moments of your life flash before your eyes. As if you need to be reminded of what it is in this life that you are going to leave behind as you move onto the next.

For what feels like the longest time, I don't see a thing. As if the film of my life has been suspended in some unreadable darkness.

Then I see it.

Short glimpses of my room; dolls aligned along my table; books piled on the floor; a warm hand stroking my hair. Strangely, even in this state of delirious lucidity, I can almost feel the soft touch of my mother's hand on my hair; my father's soft kisses on my cheeks. The endless nights we spent together, laughing.

The scene changes again and I see myself playing in the park with my childhood friends, careless and carefree. The warm days before my cold ones. Alistair makes his unwelcome appearance in my mind, his terrifying silhouette towering over the light of my memories. Steel chains and leather whips. Bright clothes and shining jewels. Cheering crowds and stifled tears. They pass through me like a harsh wind, suffocating.

Then, at the end of it all, I am surprised to see a bright, ferocious lion, chasing away the wind with a great roar. Its fur shimmers hot yellow like a thousand suns. I see it. The Thousand Sunny and the pirate crew it brought forth into my life…

I won't see them again. Not the Strawhats; not my parents; not my friends from my hometown; not Alistair. Because I will die here. Alone.

I close my eyes. For some reason, I don't feel scared anymore. As if the certainty of my demise brought about some sort of cathartic release. I did have a happy, fulfilling life once upon a time.

As a child I had many dreams. To be a sailor; to explore vast world that existed beyond my tiny town. I would have become a merchant, a marine, a traveller; anything I wanted to be. Would that have happened if I had continued living there, ignorant to the cruelty of the sea? Although that choice was taken from me, and on the first boat I had ever travelled on I was only there as a prisoner, for a short time I got to experience what it meant to be on the open seas.

Somehow, despite the agonising pain in my body, I can feel a smile form on my face. I am finally free of the selfish shackles of this world. So when I hear the click of a cocked gun, I don't even hold my breath.

"OIII! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

The screaming voice sounds so familiar that my eyes fling open without a second thought. In the distance I see it. The same hat that flitters on top of the great flag like a halo that symbolises the Strawhat Pirates. Long arms fly past me in a flurry of furious punches. Gun shots are fired and repelled. Swords are swung, kicks are thrown and curses are yelled from both sides. But soon all I can see is the tall, thin frame of Luffy against the backdrop of fallen fighters. He comes to my side, lifting me carefully in his arms, his eyes darkly shadowed by the brim of his hat.

"Are you ok, Hanna?" He asks and, despite the situation, all I can think of is that this is the most serious look I have ever seen his face. It's actually quite intimidating, even though I know his anger is not directed at me.

"Don't worry, I'm fine," I try to say, but my words are almost incomprehensible. I can hardly move my jaw. My voice slurs than dies away quietly. "Luffy…"

"Don't talk," He says sharply, "I'm going to take you to Chopper now. Hold on tight."

Pressed against his chest, I hear the rhythmic beating of his heart, a stark contrast to the erratic beating of my own, but soothing in a way that I never before thought imaginable. In his arms I drift back into the peaceful lull of sleep.


	15. The Return

**Chapter 15.**

When my eyes finally flutter open, it's to the light of the sun washed walls of the Thousand Sunny's medical bay. It reminds me, somewhat, of my first night on the Sunny. Whereas, the room was dark when I had first arrived, it was now shining bright. Blinded, I try to shield my face with my hand, only to find my arm and shoulder bandaged tightly and very painful to move. It is so painful that it takes me almost ten minutes to heave myself up into a seated position. Not helped by the fact that my legs have also been set in a cast from ankle to upper thigh.

"Well, at least I'm still alive…"

Although I say it with a surprisingly casual voice, in all honesty, I don't quite know what to think. I had never considered the possibility that someone would save me. But someone did, and now I'm sitting on his ship, swaying up and down with familiar movements of the sea.

With the help of a pair of crutches lying by the bedside, I slowly make my way to the door. Before I can open it, however, I am unbalanced by someone's sudden entrance into the room.

"Whoa—hey!" says Zoro, carrying what I assume to be my lunch in one hand and me in the other. He walks me awkwardly to the bedside, trying not to drop anything (or anyone in my case) on the way. When he sits down with the plate still in his hand I realise that the food wasn't for me. My plate was on the table beside me the whole time, I hadn't noticed until now.

"How're you feeling?" He says, his eyes subtly roaming around my bandages before meeting my gaze. I shake my head and he mumbles something about eating to gain my strength again.

"It sure is sunny today," I say as we eat. He only replies with a halfhearted grunt. "I wish it was like this everyday. I'm starting to get too used to flash storms and tornadoes. A bit of sunshine wouldn't hurt once in a while, but I guess the Grandline has always been unpredictable hasn't it?"

"Yeah..." he mutters quietly in response. I look towards him to find the source of his distraction, only to find him staring at the fork hanging precariously between my fingers without much of Sanji's potatoes on it.

"Need some help?" He asks, but the fork is already between his fingers. I try not to look into his eyes as he feeds me mouthfuls of vegetables and gravied chicken. I especially avoid his gaze when he delicately wipes the gravy from my chin like a child. When I finish, he leaves the room momentarily to put the dishes back in the kitchen, then comes back and seats himself on the floor on the far side of the room.

We both fall silent, lost in thought, until I decide to stop avoiding the subject at hand.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, noting the complete lack of noise on the deck outside.

"Chopper, Usopp and Nami are out in town getting more medical supplies," He says, then sharply adds, "Luffy and the rest are looking for the guys who did this to you."

"I-I see," I say, suddenly flushing in embarrassment. I should have known that they weren't going to leave without a fight.

"Don't worry about them, they'll be fine," He says, but when I say that I'm more worried about how the rest of the town will be like after their rampage Zoro starts to laugh.

"Guess they'll have to think twice before messing with you next time," he smirks, but underneath his remark, I sense a biting anger.

"Why didn't you go with them?" I say, then immediately regret sounding like I want to get rid of him. He doesn't seem to take it to heart though. Apparently, Sanji was the one who thought it would be too much trouble to look for him if he got lost while they searched for the pirates. Even though it is a sound explanation, I suspect that it has something to do with quarrel I had with the crew before I left. "I'm sorry for the trouble I've been causing everyone…"

"Don't be." Zoro replies and his voice has a finality that I can't argue with.

I soon fall back to sleep, still drowsy from exhaustion, vaguely aware that Zoro hasn't left the room yet. For some reason, I find it comforting to be guarded by his watchful eyes. Safe, even.

When the crew finally return at dusk, I'm much more alert and awake than I had been earlier. It only takes me three minutes to hoist myself up and hobble to Zoro's side, slumped against the wall in deep sleep. When we step into the kitchen, I almost forget that I had left the crew on awkward terms. They jump me, hug me, shower me in concerns, relieved to see me up and walking (barely).

"Sorry Hanna-chan, we couldn't find the rest of those bastards," Sanji says once everyone has settled down. "When we went to check out that old hotel they had already cut the Denden mushi line, so we don't even know where they were planning to take you."

"It's ok," I say, "I have a pretty good idea of where they were going to take me."

"Huh, where's that?" Luffy asks.

"Back to Blues Island, probably," I answer, "back to Alistair."

"Who's that?" He asks, but Sanji answers for me.

"Is that the guy who took you from you island when you were little?" When I nod, his face turns dark. "So that's why you didn't want to go back to that island? Damn it."

"So what're you going to do now then?" Luffy asks, "If you can't go home, you can always join us! Being a pirate is fun, don't you think?"

Perhaps a few days ago, I would have given it a consideration. Sailing the seas until I could find myself and my dream, but now I didn't have to. In that moment, when I was so close to leaving this world, I found myself. I don't need to become a pirate. At least, not at this very moment. I don't need to search for a new life; I need to start living the one I have now.

"Thank you for the offer, but I want to go back home, Luffy," I say, "Not to Blues Island, but to Eternia. I want to go back to Eternia."


End file.
